THE BREAKTHROUGH

By Carlos King

 

THE BREAKTHROUGH

By: Damani (Carlos King)

Being on the cusp of freedom from physical incarceration for the first time in thirty-five years is beautiful and life changing. My emotional jubilation is out of this world since receiving the news of my parole hearing on June 1st. To be honest, I have yet to close my eyes for more than a couple of hours at a time. And as I lay awake pondering the different thoughts and feelings surging through me with great regularity, I can't help but to notice the many tears streaming down my face. I feel elated, my palms are sweaty, throat dry and my mind is traveling in so many directions all at once. Wow!

This is an unbelievable moment, and I have yet to fully internalize it. To be truthful, I don't think I will be able to until I have physically past the threshold of my confinement. Because from a thirty-five year prison experience, every minute I remain behind these barbed wire fences and cement block walls, anything can happen. My physical, emotional, and mental health will be threatened by extremely harsh and violent conditions. Such as the lack of decent food, adequate healthcare, and proper protection from unexpected violence. These conditions are oftentimes perpetuated by a system that lacks the ability to be anything other than what it was created for, money, warehousing, and the destruction of family units.

But with all that being said, at this very moment I am enjoying the amazement I feel after so many years of longing, imagining, and searching for my freedom. I realize that despite how tumultuous this experience has been on me, I made it through. I am still breathing and fully functional despite these inhumane conditions, and I refuse to complain about that. I say that because not everyone made it through. I've known so many men who loss their lives through violence, suicide, drugs, and deteriorating health while in prison. They never made their paroles, so I will take a moment of silence to honor them. They too were worthy of this kind of opportunity. And in that spirit, I am happy, relieved, and thankful that I am not only healthy, but mentally and physically productive on so many levels.

So as I reflect deeply on the many things I've imagined about life after prison, my mind becomes transfixed on my APS. Which is how long I've been ALIVE; how long I've been in PRISON; and how long I've been in SOCIETY. For those who are wondering, I've been alive for 19,345 days, in prison for 12,775 days, and in society for 6,570 days. In my opinion, any principled person should be appalled by such numbers and then start asking the question: how much time is required in prison before a person is rehabilitated for Armed Robbery? But honestly, when I think about the many days I've been incarcerated, I think about the many days the victim's families in my case has too been incarcerated. Their pain has remained constant and I am very remorseful, empathetic, and sympathetic to the pain I caused to those families.

To date, I have changed considerably since my 18 year old blunder, and although it took me a great number of years to get here, I can honestly say I've arrived. The numerous self help programs I've taken to transform my thinking from the selfish (me) mentality, to a humane and altruistic one is reflective of that. I learned how to express myself through the socializing with other men in group settings which ultimately taught me how to respect and value other people. Not to mention the many educational accomplishments I acquired since coming to prison with only a seventh grade education. GED, Paralegal certification, Personal Finance certification, Braille Transcription certification, FDIC Money Smart certification, and many more. I am scheduled to start college in May in search of a degree in Social Work. What I am alluding to is this, through my metamorphosis, I came to realize that ignorance was no longer a fancy I wanted to romance.

This experience does not represent the totality of who I am, it has been merely a few chapters within a book that is not yet completed. I have so many chapters left. My exodus from prison represents new growth, endless possibilities, and the emergence of a fully growing man that is more compassionate, patient, considerate, respectful, humane, and intentional. The internal love of self I discovered while in the midst of my greatest pain has became transformational. I will forever live by the creed:

IF I CAN'T SAY OR DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOU,
I WON'T SAY OR DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU.

Peace
Damani

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THE RELEVANCE AND IMPORTANCE OF MY STORY.

By Carlos King
From my arrest, prosecution and prison sentence, no one has ever asked to hear my story. Not where I came from, not what happened in my childhood that tore the fabric of my being, and not what caused me to choose crime instead of education. None of those questions were asked. No one ever desired to know the mitigating circumstances that landed me in prison! All that mattered to the police officer, prosecutor, court appointed attorney, judge and the jury was: "He committed this crime and we will punish him for it." From the beginning to the end of the judicial process, they never saw a dysfunctional teen, a teen who experienced sexual assault as a seven/eight year old child, a teen who hated seeing his single mother struggle to give him the essentials to have a meaningful life, a teen who had never met his father, and lastly, they never saw an inadequate teen who was incapable of being a father to his only child. No, they never saw any of those things when they looked upon me,...
Read more

THOMAS WASHINGTON - INNOCENT

By Carlos King
  Dear Reader, My name is Thomas Louis Washington, prison number #407126 I am currently falsely imprisoned within the Michigan Department Of Corrections. I was sentenced to 42 to 82 years for 1st degree home invasion, assault with intent to murder. I have been wrongly convicted for 13 long years. The Detroit Police Officers who handled the evidence that would have proved my innocence either mishandled it or intentionally destroyed it. At my trial the Officer that handled the evidence failed to show up to my trial when he was called. After 13 years I have discovered that the two officers in question are a part of a Detroit Police Narcotics Unit that have been found to have on more than one occasion falsified affidavits for search warrants, kidnap and robbed criminal suspects at gunpoint and sold the drugs seized to other drug dealers who divided the proceeds amongst the Detroit Police Narcotics Unit. This was all done while they were acting under the "COLOR OF THE LAW" These i...
Read more

INJUSTICE

By Carlos King
The difficulty it takes trying to wrap my mind around this level of injustice, it's just too inhumane to be ingested, to absorb the particles of it's degradation on the face of it's merits, is to find yourself depressed and mentally angered for every second that you bare it... Because there's not one person on the face of the planet, that doesn't desire to be treated fairly, so how can you not hear me, when I am speaking so very clearly, or maybe you are not listening to my suffering because you are afraid to come near me, thinking that my pain may touch you and force you to treat me dearly... Why would you walk blindly around, disregarding the fate of the downtrodden, the ones who've been forgotten, the ones who are battered and bruised by a prison system that sees us as being rotten, I guess to see is to care, but that character trait must be at your bottom, seeing as though you refuse to lift a hand and offer some aid by simply saying I got you... Instead, yo...
Read more