SAVING OUR YOUTH FROM GANGS, DEATH, & PRISON

I wrote this curriculum to give our struggling youth valuable resources that will help give them the power to combat many of the same issues I dealt with in my youth. Self-esteem, peer pressure, lack of a father/mother, bullying, poverty related decision making, and a host of other things that contributes to our youth ending up in gangs, graveyards and the prison system.

The effectiveness of this curriculum is based upon our (caregivers, teachers and mentors) willingness to see past our subjective minds and incorrigible thoughts as they relate to our young people. When we see a troubled youth, or they personally seek us out, we must take it as a real opportunity to inspire them and not as another failed attempt to help young people that do not desire to change or to really be helped. We must be mindful that our talking and experiences alone will not automatically change their behaviour or their conditions. It will take our unconditional love and consistency for the young person to even feel comfortable enough to share their discomfort with us. We must have the patience, insight and desirability to stand in their storm with them for as long as it takes to bring some love, normalcy and productivity into their lives.

We must be cognizant of their frustrations and difficulties when it comes to dealing with the impediments that impedes their progress in some particular way. We must not impose our experiences upon them in a way that says: 'Our way is the best way because we've done that before,' No! We cannot be as conventional with our young people because they will be defiant, rebellious and non-responsive to us. We must realize that they see entirely differently then we did, and the times are not as they were when we were young. Instead, we must become relatable to them by listening, paying attention and allowing them to tell and show us how we can help. This builds confidence in the young person when he/she knows that their pain and discomfort is more important than our demands and instructions.

Each young person must initially be dealt with on an individual basis until they feel comfortable enough to be apart of a group setting. This individual time will allow trust to be developed by making the focal point about him/her. The young person must feel from us, a strong sense of empathy and compassion for what they have experienced, and how that experience has shaped and molded their reality in a negative way. Our compassion will provide a certain degree of hope for them as they introspectively diagnose for us what bothers them and what must happen for the pain and discomfort to be lifted from their lives.

Before the young person feels comfortable enough to verbally express their pain and discomfort, we must asked certain questions that are designed to get our young people to open up and share when they are ready. We cannot rush them, nor can we lose interest in their pain. We must spend time with them daily, always working to take their thoughts higher then what is bothering them so that when it is time to revisit their pain, they will most certainly open up to us. These questions will get the ball rolling and they can be expanded on. They are:

1. At what age did you become consciously aware that something was out of place in your life?
2. Who is responsible for your dissatisfaction?
3. Who/what was your first negative experience?
4. What type of response did you receive from your caregiver when you acted on that negative influence?
5. Did you have both parents in your life? If not, how did that make you feel? If so, what was lacking from your parents that prevented them from connecting with you on a real level?
6. What do you feel is wrong with your life at this particular time?
7. Are you comfortable at this very moment in your own skin? Or are you afraid to reveal your true identity because you are worried of what people will think of you?
8. Have you ever been judged because of who you are? If so, how did it make you feel?
9. Are you being bullied by someone? If so, how long has it been going on?
10. Are you a bully? If so, what makes it right to bully others, and what has happened in your life to make you feel like that kind of behaviour is okay?
11. On a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being the highest) how big is family to you?
12. Have you always had family support when it mattered the most?
13. Have you ever felt alone and had the feeling that nobody gets you?
14. Who/what is the most important thing in your life?
15. Do you feel like you need some help in figuring out the things that bothers you most?
16. Have you ever tried talking to someone about the way you truly feel?
17. Has these questions been helpful to you?

These questions are not limited and can be increased upon at any given time. It is important that we sit on our intelligence while helping these young people because when we do so, it is easier getting them to allow us entrance beyond the wall they have built to prevent conflict and pain. We cannot be seen as just another authority figure with a bunch of intelligence, we must be imaginative in dealing with our youth so that they can see the child in us as we too struggled to find our way. This kind of shared experience will bond us with our youth in a productive and meaningful way.

We must put into place what I like to call 'A Three P System' PARTICIPATION, PRACTICE and PRODUCTIVITY. Each 'P' being representative of links in a chain, one cannot function without the other. When we get our youth to participate in the process of uncovering and dealing with their pain and dissatisfaction, we must be hands on. They must see and feel our presence at every stage of their development. We must dedicate our compassion, understanding, time, energy and resources in giving them what they crave most. Affection, consistency, respect, attention, patience and most of all, love. If we can do this, it will be easy teaching them the 'Three P System.'

PARTICIPATION -- Consist of the young person being truthful when it comes to answering questions that pertains to the conflict, trauma and pain in their lives.

PRACTICE -- Consist of taking what was discovered in the initial process and applying that information into their daily routine in a way that it becomes as normal as breathing.

PRODUCTIVITY -- Consist of the young person benefiting from his/her participation and practice by developing the tools and skills that enrich their lives in some particular way. As well as gaining the strength and confidence to live within a system that is reflective of their ambitions and goals.

As they fall in love with the 'Three P' system, they will automatically start sharing the skills we taught them with their friend's. They will have a greater sense of their self-worth and they won't be afraid to show their true selves with everyone they encounter. We must stay the course with our consistency and love no matter how far they grow. They must always be able to physically, emotionally, verbally and mentally touch us, so we must be there.

My experiences as they relate to our youth is very personal to me. Personal because not only was I just like them, but in the course of my 30 year prison sentence, I have seen so many of our young people come through these prison doors and it has tore my heart into so many pieces. It took the extremity of prison before I found the courage to deal with my past in a manner that would not continue to hurt my present. My transformation wasn't instantaneous, meaning, I did not come to prison in 1992 and by 1993 I was a changed man. It did not work like that. It took a great deal of time, intervention, mentors and family members before I started to self reflect and change my frame of thinking.

I worked diligently to change my thinking, and in doing so, I found out who I truly was and what I was meant to do. I was meant to be the kind of person that our youth would feel comfortable talking to about some of the things they were going through. I was meant to do the kind of work that would have the greatest impact on someone else's life. My desire is to serve so that others may reach their truest potential as I have. Prison does not define me, nor can it limit the things I am capable of performing. My penitence is genuine and my regards for the youth is paramount to all else. Let's help our young people to become beautiful and bright individuals, so that they in turn may lead us into the future. Thank you for reading this.

Yours Truly,

Carlos